January-
We found out that little gator was a girl! And we nicknamed her Princess Peach.
February-
We were busy getting ready for baby!
March-
We went to Kanuga.
April-
We hosted Easter lunch at the house and had family come.
May-
My first shower for baby N!
June-
The littlest one was born on June 13th. Welcome Natalia Grace!
July-
Matt's mom came to visit and we celebrated our first holiday with the little one! Matt and I also celebrated 5 years of marriage and little Tebow turned 5.
August-
Natalia started daycare and I went back to work.
September-
I started working at Tri County Tech to get more hours.
October-
We celebrated Natalia's first Halloween!
November-
Natalia Grace was baptized on the 3rd. On November 6th we lost our beloved Bella. We had our first Thanksgiving together. <3
December-
I celebrated my 27th Birthday and we celebrated Natalia's first Christmas. Natalia also met Santa for the first time.
"When you are growing up and you have an issue with your parents its easy to wonder or think that your biological parents might "understand" you better, its easy to feel disconnected. I know better now as an adult having seen my all the issues my friends have with their biological parents but its different at the time when you are young and looking for understanding of yourself."
This quote was in one of the comments on an adoption article I had been reading. The article was talking about how black babies cost less than mixed or white babies. I didn't like that, but I guess it's true. If Matt and I ever adopted, I would not care what color skin our child had. As for the quote above- I never felt like that. The woman who wrote this is white and had white adoptive parents. I never saw myself different from my parents. Even with my darker skin. Dad from as young as I remember would put his arm next to me and say how we were alike. I always loved that, and I saw Mom and Luke had similar coloring. I always felt like I got my sensitivity from my mom, and my punctuality from my dad. I didn't feel disconnected. I definitely never thought my biological parents might understand me better. I don't remember ever thinking about them. The only time I thought of my bio mom was during pregnancy, and wondering if she had the same feelings I did. I guess everyone has a different upbringing, I just wonder if it's usual for adopted kids to feel the way that original poster felt...
Off and on the morning of June 13th I was up with some cramping, but nothing horrendous. And definitely nothing to make me think I was in labor. I had a "gush of liquid" at 7 am, and then had to decide if this was it, and if I needed to call the doc. After showering and putting on a pad, I called the doctor at 8:30, and they told me to be there ASAP. I arrived by 8:45 and was brought back and checked. I was still dilated 1 cm. They took a sample to see if I was indeed leaking my fluid. The PH test showed it was my amniotic fluid. The growth test said it was negative. They then did an ultrasound to check the level. It had been at an 8 on Tuesday, and was now at a 4. I was sent to the hospital. 9:30 is when I left the office, and arrived home
15 minutes later. We were on the road by 10. We arrived by 10:45 and got checked in. 11:15 I was hooked up to the IV since I was Group B positive. They checked to see if I had made progress and I was still at a 1. Sometime between that first check and my next one I started getting a bad case of the shakes. I was so nervous and anxious of the unknown. Around 2, I was checked again and was dilated to 6 cm. I was having some really bad contractions by then so I went ahead and got the Epi. They also started me on Pitocin as that point. Shortly before 4:00 I was checked, and I was up to 9 cm already. I was feeling pretty good, and not shaking as bad. 6:00 I got checked again and was up to 10 cm. Unfortunately there was still a thin layer around her head, so they told me I needed to labor baby down. I upped the dose of the epi, and they gave me some more pain meds to help with the labor. As a result of the drugs that I was given, I got a bad case of having to scratch my chest. 7:45 was go time and the contractions were coming hard and fast. After 35 minutes of intense pushing, Natalia Grace was born. She was 9 pounds 0 ounces, and 21 inches long. I got skin to skin right away, and Matt cut the umbilical cord. I delivered the placenta a few minutes later. Natalia had been crowning the entire time I was pushing, but she could not get out. I don't know if it was the size of my cervix, or her size. But they kept dousing me with liquid and trying to pull her out. Because of this I suffered a 4th degree tear. The doctor was down there for a long time stitching me up. I also lost a lot of blood and was really out of it for the rest of the night. I am happy she is here, but the morning after I felt like I had missed so much. Matt and the nurse were the ones checking on her and feeding/changing her. All they had me do was sleep, and they changed my ice packs. Especially because I kept drifting in and out. Completely random- I passed out on the toilet and they had to wake me up with ammonia. I remember that one moment because I kept telling them all I wanted to do was sleep. All in all, I'm glad I was able to have a vaginal birth. The doctor said I would not be able to have one with our next one, because of this labor.
I want this baby out, and I'm very frustrated. I can't help but be emotional, since I am pregnant. But it's the type-a personality in me that's making me flip out. I know she has to come on her own time, and she's proving it. I just wish she could send me a mental sign or something before the physical signs. ERGH!
Looking back on the last year, makes me realize how many things have changed. Last year at this time I was admitting to myself that it might not be as easy as I thought to get pregnant. That I might have to be one to start "charting." I was still working at Itron and didn't plan on leaving any time soon. I was also out drinking a lot. I was having fun and enjoying my friends. This year I'm almost 6 months pregnant. We're working on our house and fixing it for baby. I'm subbing and working at ASC. I am making new friends and staying busy with work and baby stuff. I can't wait to see where I'm at next year with a 8 month old. =)
I took out my belly button ring yesterday. Actually a woman at the piercing salon did, but regardless it's out. It had been in for 6.5 years, and was a part of me. Now I feel naked without it, but it's no longer poking me. That is my #1 benefit. The hole is discolored, and looks really weird. Good news was I had taken really good care of it, so there was no trace of infection. Yea! I just felt like documenting the weekend of the event, and what my feelings were. =)
I had my first baby dream last night. But it wasn't about the one I am currently carrying. We were having twins and going in to find out the sex of them. And we already had a girl. We were also having a boy and girl. We will see if the dream was right!
I want someone who's close to my area. I love my best friend with all my heart, but it would be nice to have a close friend here. I hate being blown off and am done with certain people. I just want that close-ness. And I definitely miss having someone to do girl talk with. Grab the occasional lunch, etc. I know I'm having a baby, and that's going to change things. I'm not going to have enough time for anyone. I just want someone! I'm tired of going crazy in my head, and I'm sinking into a depression about it. Matt doesn't understand, and I'm pretty sure he blames the hormones. I don't think it's the hormones, and I don't want to use it as a cop out. I just wish something would happen, or I would meet someone. I hope this is the year I make a close friend.
Hello 2013! I'm so excited for this new year. This will be a year of firsts, especially once June rolls around. We're so stinking excited to meet our little one, and can't wait to find out if jelly bean is a boy or girl. 16 days! I'm aiming to be more positive this year and full of love. I can't wait to watch friendships grow and embrace everyone. I'm so excited to become a mother and watch Matt become a father. Plus I really want to see what little one looks like, that will probably be the most exciting part. *Cheers* to a brand new year, and new beginnings! <3
