Reminiscing on the last year

Why do I enjoy being treated like crap?  I think it's because I'd rather have a "friend" treat me like crap and want to hang out, then not have anyone to hang out with.  It's why I go through these phases and want to get rid of people, just to roll back over and accept their behavior again.  I want to kinda start talking to someone again, just because I miss her.  But I know I don't want to go through this crap again.  Every time I've beaten myself up about it, and decide to take the high road, I think of the memories.  I think of all the good times we had, and wonder... do they outweigh the bad?  I'm pretty sure Matt is tired of me bitching, and then wanting to talk to her again.  He probably has no idea what stance to take.  Right now he's at the point, of why bother with that girl?  Why bother?  I'm lonely, that's why.  I want a girl friend to go shopping with, to get my nails done with.  I'm tired of doing these things alone.  Here's hoping for a better year with 2013...

Merry Christmas Eve!

Last year at this time I was really hoping to be pregnant.  It's hard to believe that this year, I am!  I have so much to be thankful for.  We also got me a new car this weekend!  It's the perfect "mom" vehicle.  I'm excited to be starting new traditions for our new family next year.  I know 2013 is going to bring us more blessings.  2012 has treated us fairly, but 2013 seems to have more positive things lined up.  I hope everyone enjoys their holiday, and here are pictures of my new "baby."

 

You know who you are

So, you tell me that you're always "tired."  You work 10 hour days and are exhausted, well.... so am I!  Too tired for a phone call, too tired to check in with an old friend; once a week, once a month.  Yet you're not too "tired" to go out drinking or to a basketball game.  I think that would require some energy?  I love how you don't look "tired" in all the pictures that get to pop up on my news feed.  I hate that you're being a hypocrite.  If you don't want to be friends with me any longer, just put on your big girl panties and be done with it.  I'll tell you what, I'm done with you.  You can say "Hi" to Matt all the time at work, and ask how I'm doing.  But I don't plan on contacting you anymore.  I bet I won't get a "ring" or "message" on Monday for my birthday either.  In the end, this works out for me because I don't have to worry about being bailed on last minute.  I'll love having friends who actually want to see me.  Goodbye. 

12-14-12

12-14-12: Another day that will be engraved in our minds forever.  My mind just keeps asking the question Why?  Why did this have to happen to an innocent school?  Why are children's minds going to be ruined forever by this?  Does this open up a floodgate for more massacres?  Why do people want to be involved in a massacre, do they not have friends to talk to?  I'm just at a loss for what to do or say.  When I read the news report last night, I bawled.  It hits me close to home because the town was close to my hometown.  I'm a substitute, and he killed one.  I work at Elementary schools, and wonder if I have to be nervous while I work.  I can't watch the news reports and see the death tolls rise.  It's too depressing, and I don't give a damn if I'm in the minority.  I would rather stay in my bubble then see the images on Television.  I've heard this will be the student's "9-11", yet it too will be another date we will always remember.  I just hope that their holidays are not ruined, and I pray for all of the families and towns-people that have to go through this. 

Making some changes

I'm at the point in this "friendship,"  that I'm about to cut someone out of my life.  She doesn't seem to make any effort to keep in contact.  And frankly, I'm tired of making all the effort.  I'm also tired of making plans and being bailed on.  Having someone constantly let you down is draining.  I'm ready for a change, and I don't see you being someone in my future.  So much for a great "auntie."