Baby dream

I had my first baby dream last night. But it wasn't about the one I am currently carrying. We were having twins and going in to find out the sex of them. And we already had a girl.  We were also having a boy and girl.  We will see if the dream was right!

I want a best friend

I want someone who's close to my area.  I love my best friend with all my heart, but it would be nice to have a close friend here.  I hate being blown off and am done with certain people.  I just want that close-ness.  And I definitely miss having someone to do girl talk with.  Grab the occasional lunch, etc.  I know I'm having a baby, and that's going to change things.  I'm not going to have enough time for anyone.  I just want someone!  I'm tired of going crazy in my head, and I'm sinking into a depression about it.  Matt doesn't understand, and I'm pretty sure he blames the hormones.  I don't think it's the hormones, and I don't want to use it as a cop out.  I just wish something would happen, or I would meet someone.  I hope this is the year I make a close friend.

Welcome 2013

Hello 2013!  I'm so excited for this new year.  This will be a year of firsts, especially once June rolls around.  We're so stinking excited to meet our little one, and can't wait to find out if jelly bean is a boy or girl.  16 days!  I'm aiming to be more positive this year and full of love.  I can't wait to watch friendships grow and embrace everyone.  I'm so excited to become a mother and watch Matt become a father.  Plus I really want to see what little one looks like, that will probably be the most exciting part.  *Cheers* to a brand new year, and new beginnings!  <3

Reminiscing on the last year

Why do I enjoy being treated like crap?  I think it's because I'd rather have a "friend" treat me like crap and want to hang out, then not have anyone to hang out with.  It's why I go through these phases and want to get rid of people, just to roll back over and accept their behavior again.  I want to kinda start talking to someone again, just because I miss her.  But I know I don't want to go through this crap again.  Every time I've beaten myself up about it, and decide to take the high road, I think of the memories.  I think of all the good times we had, and wonder... do they outweigh the bad?  I'm pretty sure Matt is tired of me bitching, and then wanting to talk to her again.  He probably has no idea what stance to take.  Right now he's at the point, of why bother with that girl?  Why bother?  I'm lonely, that's why.  I want a girl friend to go shopping with, to get my nails done with.  I'm tired of doing these things alone.  Here's hoping for a better year with 2013...

Merry Christmas Eve!

Last year at this time I was really hoping to be pregnant.  It's hard to believe that this year, I am!  I have so much to be thankful for.  We also got me a new car this weekend!  It's the perfect "mom" vehicle.  I'm excited to be starting new traditions for our new family next year.  I know 2013 is going to bring us more blessings.  2012 has treated us fairly, but 2013 seems to have more positive things lined up.  I hope everyone enjoys their holiday, and here are pictures of my new "baby."

 

You know who you are

So, you tell me that you're always "tired."  You work 10 hour days and are exhausted, well.... so am I!  Too tired for a phone call, too tired to check in with an old friend; once a week, once a month.  Yet you're not too "tired" to go out drinking or to a basketball game.  I think that would require some energy?  I love how you don't look "tired" in all the pictures that get to pop up on my news feed.  I hate that you're being a hypocrite.  If you don't want to be friends with me any longer, just put on your big girl panties and be done with it.  I'll tell you what, I'm done with you.  You can say "Hi" to Matt all the time at work, and ask how I'm doing.  But I don't plan on contacting you anymore.  I bet I won't get a "ring" or "message" on Monday for my birthday either.  In the end, this works out for me because I don't have to worry about being bailed on last minute.  I'll love having friends who actually want to see me.  Goodbye. 

12-14-12

12-14-12: Another day that will be engraved in our minds forever.  My mind just keeps asking the question Why?  Why did this have to happen to an innocent school?  Why are children's minds going to be ruined forever by this?  Does this open up a floodgate for more massacres?  Why do people want to be involved in a massacre, do they not have friends to talk to?  I'm just at a loss for what to do or say.  When I read the news report last night, I bawled.  It hits me close to home because the town was close to my hometown.  I'm a substitute, and he killed one.  I work at Elementary schools, and wonder if I have to be nervous while I work.  I can't watch the news reports and see the death tolls rise.  It's too depressing, and I don't give a damn if I'm in the minority.  I would rather stay in my bubble then see the images on Television.  I've heard this will be the student's "9-11", yet it too will be another date we will always remember.  I just hope that their holidays are not ruined, and I pray for all of the families and towns-people that have to go through this.